"We Are Only Peacemakers"

Ali ibn Abu Talib, a companion of the Prophet who was about to slay his opponent in the midst of battle. As he raised his sword to strike, his enemy spat in his face. Ali immediately dropped his sword and refused to kill his opponent, “What is wrong with you, why do you not strike ?” the man asked “Because before you spat at me I was fighting you for the sake of Allah Almighty” Ali replied, “but after you spat I was fighting you because I was angry - and as a Muslim I can only fight for Allah , never for my own self.” Upon hearing this, Ali’s opponent recognized the nobility and truth of his words and immediately accepted Islam. [I have no idea about it's authenticity]

My Lord, guide me, verilly I am someone weak!

Maybe I think I am a 'peacemaker', but I only create mischief. Forgive me.

My Rambling Musing I

The new semester has arrived. My last semester result is not out yet, but I am not really looking forward to it as I don’t think I did excellent – won’t be too bad either, insyaAllah. Note: I am usually, fairly fatalistic, so nothing to worry about. What’s important right now is to set my priorities right and to find the right balance with my responsibilities and interests – oh yeah, I am a person with multiple interests, and the hardest thing for me is perhaps to really concentrate on one thing at a time.

It is true that it is easy to find a person who hops from one thing to another in an ad hoc manner, but it is a rarity to find someone who is really good at what he or she is doing. That is why grandmasters are envied by many and they are hard to come by – it takes a lot of hard work, rigorous training, and a lot of sweat to produce one. Having said that, I am not negating the need to master multiple skills and knowledge, what I am saying is we should not fall into the trap of ‘jack-of-all-trade-but-master-at-none’. Of course it will be terrific if we can actually be master of multiple disciplines – I hope to be one of those in the future – berangan.

Now back to reality. I need to brush up my C++ skill for this semester and not to mention: Study hard… And Smart? How smart can you get?

I don’t know why, but I find it pretty hard to memorize formulas, facts, and even people’s name nowadays – important stuff. Somehow I have the uncanny ability to memorize strange things and small details that other people tend to forget – unfortunately these memories are not so beneficial, although it can be helpful at rare times. The theory about one's spiritual state affects one's memory is an interesting one. The memory power of the people during the prophetic and pious predecessors time was extraordinary, as Mary Carruthers, author of The Book of Memory writes, "ancient and medieval people reserved their awe for memory. Their greatest geniuses they describe as people of superior memories."1 That brings the question – or rather my paranoia and self-made-up excuse – about how dyslexia affects me nowadays? I no longer write sentences in mirror images, nor do I confuse ‘p’ with ‘q’ or ‘3’ with ‘8.’ I seem perfectly normal nowadays… But I thought my vision was perfectly fine too when actually I needed a pair of glasses.

I’ve been reading studies about theories of memory but it seems that we are still playing the guessing game on how we remember and how we forget. Maybe it’s just me who fail to understand those well-written treatises on this subject. What I can say is “EP” and ”HM” are scary… I hope I can be “AJ.” How do I train a seahorse, or in other word, a hippocampus? What does it mean when you have your neuropathways hardwired in strange ways - dyslexic? They say you get creative people, but deficient in certain aspects – seems familiar. Hope there will be some fatah for me, insyaAllah. On practical solution, maybe I should learn how to use mind maps more effectively to aid me in my studies – after all I think I am a visual learner and I believe my thinking is more conceptual. Note: Change of topic for the next paragraph.

Sometimes I feel like drowning… Sometimes I feel like I am in no man’s land. The voice inside me will say, “Who cares? Well they don’t, it’s your own problem, you have to stand by your own.” Then that voice will add, “It's ok, as long as He is not mad with me.” Now this argument seems familiar. Strange how sometimes I give people advice, but truthfully I myself don’t have the strength when I am in such predicament. Nothing strange perhaps, it’s called moral support – we do that to other people even though sometimes we ourselves have no idea what the solution to the problem really is.

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.2

When one sets sail to the sea, it is important to read the stars properly, to have the right compass so that one does not get confuse with his or her direction. I hope that my compass is showing the real North Star. One should only expect that there will be thunderstorms and big tidal waves in the vast, silent seas of uncharted territories. Until then…

“I seek refuge with the glory of Your light, which the heavens and earth are lit form, Your anger will not befall on me, nor Your displeasure descends on me. To You is the supplication until You are pleased, and there is no control or power except by You.”3

Footnotes:-

1. Memory: Why We Remember, Why We Forget by Joshua Foer, National Geographic November 2007.

2. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock (verses 111-119), T.S. Eliot 1917.

3. A portion of dua Taif incident by Rasulullah s.a.w. (I can't remember the specific chain of narration. Sorry for that.)

Our Current Condition, Our Glorious Past, And The Need For The Two Transformations

Our Current Condition
We live in a time where our community is in the state of ghafla (heedless). A time where our youth waste their precious early life with playing meaningless video games, which is the black hole of our modern society – an activity whose substance is complete nothingness. Our time spend in seclusion used to mean our time spend in remembrance of Allah, but now it means our time spend on watching vulgar images and videos in front of our computers. Today, our heartlands and our hearts are subjugated by inward and outward forces that make us submit to created things, as oppose to Islam’s mission to free us from these powers by submitting to the Creator of things. We should feel ashamed of ourselves when we talk about ‘adab or akhlak, as we no longer personify these noble concepts; in fact, nowadays other communities embody those concepts way better than us. As Syaikh Hamza Yusuf eloquently puts, “generally speaking, we are powerless, bereft, morally bankrupt – objects of history rather than subject of history, as were our pious predecessors who engaged the world with the power of truth and dispelled darkness with their spiritual light.”1

Haven’t we heard about our Prophet’s s.a.w. prayer:-

“O Allah, I seek refuge in you from grief and anxiety, impotence and indolence, cowardice and miserliness, and from being overcome by debt and overpowered by men”2

Our Glorious Past
Dr. Umar Faruq Abdallah stressed the importance for us to put some wind into our sail of ‘memory ship’, so that we have role models from our glorious past, which we can derive our inspirations from. I believe we should study figures in our tradition, especially those who are closest to us in terms of personality, expert field, background, etc. Our role models should be people who are proven to be “serious about their lives” and rightly-guided – we have a lot of people who are like that in our glorious past and some in the present. Having said that, we should not get all hung up with our past, and blame our current condition entirely to ‘others’ fault and get ourselves engross with multiple conspiracy theories that will give us no benefits.

Hamza Yusuf spoke in his lecture, Reviving The Spirit of Andalusia:-
“Our challenge as Muslims is to determine how best we can revive the ability for Islam to work with the great challenges of our time, the great transformations of our time, using the past as our compass. We must recognize that we are in the present, on a journey into the future, and the past is our North Star. We must see the principles of the past and derive strength from our past, but we must also able to reconcile with the fact that we are modern people”

Inner Transformation
Syaikh Hamza Yusuf starts his book, Agenda to Change Our Condition with the topic Taqwa, which highlights his stress on inner transformation - through spiritual struggle with the soul - as a requisite to transform our ailing condition.

There are five stations of taqwa according to Imam Ibn Juzayy al-Kalbi:
- guarding against disbelief – this is the station of submission;
- guarding against forbidden things – this is the station of repentance;
- guarding against doubtful matters – this is the station of scrupulousness;
- guarding against extraneous matters – this is the station of freedom (zuhd);
- guarding against other than Allah occupying the heart – this is the station of vigilance.3

Regarding the theory of five stations propounded by Ibn Juzayy, he said that our community is suffering because the vast majority of us are only at the first or second station, and the benefits of taqwa will spread in our communities only if a critical mass of Muslims commits to moving to the third and fourth stations. In other words, we need to be serious about attaining scrupulousness and zuhd – as was the case for the prophetic and pious predecessors’ communities – if the beauty of Islam is to be truly embodied by the ummah again. Zuhd4 is not a complete avoidance of the world. It is when you have dunya in you hand, but not in your heart. So are we up to the task in elevating our stations at the very least to the third station – and beyond?

“Had only the people of the cities believed and had taqwa, We would have opened up for them blessings from the heavens and the earth” (Qur’an 7:96).

Outer Transformation
Outer transformation is about the struggle with the derogatory aspects of the society, which means upholding social justice and promoting a culture that embodies moral behavior. The inner transformation and the outer transformation should come hand-in-hand – we must change ourselves first before we seek to change the world. If we ourselves are corrupted, then we don’t have the moral authority to change others. Syaikh Hamza Yusuf stresses the need for civic involvement in our behalf as part of our effort to improve the world that we live in. I would like to quote an excerpt of Agenda To Change Our Condition that addresses the issue of cooperation because I think it is relevant to most of us – especially me, maybe, in my disarray:-

“This religion is based on recognizing the abilities of the believers that constitute the ummah and facilitating the use of their respective gifts. We need to understand that if one person focuses upon an area of concern, he or she is complementing our own work and not detracting from it by not joining us. We should not see other Muslims, either individuals or organized groups, as competitors or antagonists. Rather, we should see them as brothers and sisters and either work with them or work separately with amicable relations, the least of which is giving them the greeting of peace with a smile.

Islamic work through diverse organizations should never be the basis for negating the bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood established between us by Islam. When that happens, we are no longer doing Islamic work but are engaged in politics. We should speak well of other organizations or be silent about them. Once we recognize that most of them are engaged in different aspect of the same struggle, we come to respect their efforts. If some appear to be misguided, then we should offer counsel and pray for them. If they have deviant positions or beliefs, then we should request that qualified scholars clarify with clear proofs what those deviations are.

We ought to keep in mind that Mosses a.s. was commanded to go to Pharaoh and speak to him a gentle word (Qur’an 20:44). Remembering that we are not more righteous than Mosses a.s. and that our brother is certainly not father astray than Pharaoh, we can approach the matter with gentle humility and a genuine desire for the well-being and guidance of all.

In addition, we should avoid labeling other people or groups as Salafi, Sufi, or Wahhabi, for example, as these engender animosity. Name-calling is condemned in the Qur’an, if the intention is contempt. If the intention is to elucidate a position, then we must examine our intention and also our level of understanding.” 5

I would like to note that my reference for this article is mainly Agenda To Change Our Condition by Syaikh Hamza Yusuf and Imam Zaid Shakir. If the reader finds ideas in this article as interesting then pray read that book as it covers these topics in-depth.

Let's change our condition!

Footnotes:-
1. Ibn Juzayy, al-Tahsil (Beirut: Dar al-Arqam, n.d.) I:69.
2. Sahih al-Bukhari [7:158]
3. Hamza Yusuf and Zaid Shakir, Agenda to Change Our Condition (Zaytuna Institute 2007) pg 2
4. A decent page that explains Zuhd: http://www.sunnahonline.com/ilm/purification/0067.htm 5. Hamza Yusuf and Zaid Shakir, Agenda to Change Our Condition (Zaytuna Institute 2007) pg 18-19.

A Soul in Troubled Water

Actually I am currently in exam week, which means I should be studying right now, but my short concentration span on numbers and Sum – with the big stylized S – brought me here. I often wonder what effect does dyslexia have on me nowadays, but I am pretty sure that my theoretical musing on this matter is just a form of escapism from admitting that I am just being plain lazy – at times.

I guess you must have noticed that the title of this post is the same as the ‘catch-word’ of this blog. Actually I got the idea for that ‘catch-word’ from my last year’s design course project, which I had to propose a design for the new Peace Bridge at Buffalo-Niagara – just a university course, nothing real, in case you are wondering. The name of the project was “A Bridge Over Troubled Water.” At the same time last year, I’ve gone through a lot of changes and some hardship – relatively, I admit I have an easy life thus far. Soul or in Arabic nafs, was something that concerned me a lot during that time - still do. I felt like I have never realized about its existence before, after all these years – amazingly, well maybe this is a bit of a hyperbola. It was the awareness about the condition of my heart and it’s hard to explain what it was about exactly. With that, a plethora of things regarding me – from personality to behavior etcetera – have gone through some reverse engineering processes. My best friend sum it up in a sentence as “the continuous evolution of ****” [my real name, censored]. I guess it must be at the very least perplexing, for someone who has known me for a long time to see me going through these facets of change. It is true that people change all the time, it’s all dynamic, but sometimes the changes are mild and sometimes they are drastic; more importantly I am not talking about changes per se.

Sometimes the physical body seems healthy, but the inner soul is in great turmoil. Sometimes we don’t even understand why we are in such and such condition. Actually we may intellectually understand why, but everything just seems so hard… Some say it’s just part and parcel of being adolescent, but I think it applies to everyone regardless of age or whatever. I have some friends who are currently in this so-called skepticism (if not Ghazalian skepticism) phase. The usual characteristic of this phase is the ‘uzlah period (the noun would be al-‘Azel), which I guess can be loosely translated to English as 'to retreat'. I had a conversation with a friend – more like a teacher-cum-friend to me – whom I call him as just abang. I don’t really know him actually, but he is one of those people I just feel at ease with. He said, “I’m running far right now.” I guess running here applies to both: metaphorical and literal. He continued, “Actually, I don’t know why I changed my personality” After I suggested that I’ve noticed even though I don’t know him that much, he concluded, “I don’t know, I don’t even know myself.”

How ironic, this seems to be a carbon copy of the condition of another friend of mine whom I barely know too, but for some reason I feel at ease with. There is nothing much that I can do, I realize that. Sometimes I am perplexed by the changes that are happening, and in the process, my selfish-self tries to protect my own self-interests. My apologies. I hope you can bear with my idiosyncrasies, which I don't understand them myself. As for my asking - just like them - it’s nothing more than I want you to be successful.

p/s: This blog will include some more personal posts like this from now on. I would like to remind myself from making all my emotions a public affair too ;) Hehe…

A Random Compilation Of Wisdoms

Wisdom 1: Dissension, Reconciliation, and Ego.
Treat differences among your fellow kin with kindness and nothing but kindness. Mu’awiyah once said, “if there was a hair of relationship between me and someone else, if he pulled on it I would release, and if he released it, I would pull.” Often, your ego will be the main obstacle in exercising kindness in dealing with dissensions. So be wary of your own ego before you worry about other people’s actions and hidden motives. Remember: “Let not some men among you deride others who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is a bad name after faith.” [Sûrah al-Hujurât: 11].

Take heed of Imam Ash-Syafi’e’s fine advice on brotherhood:-
"The following three conditions are signs of the genuine nature of one's love for his brother in religion: To tolerate a few small errors without reproaching the other party, and accept that person for what he is; to cover up any unbecoming actions performed openly;to forgive any wrong directed towards oneself."

Syaikh Hamza Yusuf once spoke on Islam Channel: "There’s a verse in the Qur’an that is very interesting to me, and probably to most of you, ‘If people incline towards reconciliation, incline with them and trust in God. When they want to incline towards peace, you incline towards peace; and if they want to deceive you, if there’s some hidden ulterior motive, God is enough for you.’ Don’t worry about that, that’s not your concern. Peace is so precious, that anybody who reaches out for peace, you should reach out with them for peace” (I believe he was talking about Surah Al-Anfal: 8).



Wisdom 2: The Inner Lawyer.
Find the inner lawyer in you – now this is very important. Think for a second: to be a good lawyer, it often helps to be a good liar. Although most lawyers won’t tell a direct lie, most will do what they can to hide the inconvenient truths, while offering a plausible alternative version of ‘what really happened’ to the jury – a story that they know is not true. Know that your inner lawyer works the same way, but the biggest and most important difference is you actually believe the story he makes up! So catch him when he is in action.

People who are asked to read a study showing that drinking coffee is unhealthy would think extra hard to find flaws in the study – flaws that people who don’t drink coffee won’t notice. When someone reprimanded you for not going to the mosque for Solat Juma’ah, in an instance your brain will be busy cogitating about a valid justification for your misconduct: “The mosque was too far away. Hmm, not really. Oh yeah, my class ended extra late today. Then I was so, so, so hungry, I needed to eat first, and by the time I finished the food, I was already too late for the prayer. Anyway, I won’t be able to concentrate on the khutbah if I went there with an empty stomach just now.”

Over and over again, studies have shown that people set out on a cognitive mission to bring back reasons to support their preferred action. And because we are usually successful in this mission, we end up with the illusion of objectivity. The only answer that I can think of to overcome this problem is to have true moral sincerity, which is not something easy to attain, as we always tend to keep up appearances when it comes to morality: "If one of you wishes to content all the people, he cannot. The servant must be careful to have moral sincerity. Every good work he performs must remain between him and Allah." (Imam Ash-Syafi’e) How hard is that…


Wisdom 3: Khushoo’ in Solat.
Have khushoo’ in your solat. To me the degree of khushoo’ that you can attain in your solat is a strong indicator as to your current spiritual state. If you cannot attain humility towards Allah during those five minutes, then what chance for you to have humility towards Him for the rest of the day? If you often fail to attain khushoo’ then reflect hard on your current condition. Ask yourself: “To what extend do I love this dunya and to what extend do I neglect my duties towards Allah presently?”

At the same time, be wary of the khushoo’ of hypocrisy. Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya said, explaining the difference between the khushoo’ of true faith and the khushoo’ of the hypocrisy: “The khushoo’ of true faith is when the heart feels aware and humble before the greatness and glory of Allah, and is filled with awe, fear, and shyness, so that the heart is utterly humbled before Allah and broken, as it were, with fear, shyness, love and the recognition of the blessings of Allah and its own sins. So, no doubt, the khushoo’ of the heart is followed by the khushoo’ of the body.As for the khushoo’ of hypocrisy, it is something that is put on with a great show, but there is no khushoo’ in the heart.”

Ponder upon how the sahabah and the salaf were when they pray: ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib r.a. would be visibly shaken, and the color of his face would change when he was about to pray. It was said to him, “What is the matter with you?” He said, “By Allah, there has come the time of the Trust: “Indeed, We offered the Amanah [Trust] to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, but they declined to bear it and were afraid of it; but man bore it…” (Qur’an 33:72). Syaikh al-Islam Ibn Taimiyah, when he started to pray, used to tremble so much that he would lean right and left. Just compare this with what we do in our prayers nowadays: Thinking about the unsolved math problems in calculus, planning what to do next, fiddling with our nose, checking the watch, etc.


Wisdom 4: Conduct in a Debate, Discussion, or Assembly
Remember Imam Ash-Syafi’e’s words when you are in a heated debate: “Never do I argue with a man with a desire to hear him say what is wrong, or to expose him and win victory over him. Whenever I face an opponent in debate I silently pray - "O Allah, help him so that truth may flow from his heart and on his tongue, and so that if truth is on my side, he may follow me; and if truth be on his side, I may follow him." More importantly – if one is sincere in conveying the truth – choose wisely when to debate in public and when to give personal advice. These two modes will give a dramatically different impact on the one you seek to counsel, as Imam Ash-Syafi’e eloquently puts, "if anyone gives secret advice to his brother in faith, he will have engaged in good counseling and adorned him with good manners. If he seeks to give advice openly in public it will have no effect. He will, in a sense, have condemned the other party, and thus shamed him."

Listen carefully to Imam Abu Hanifah’s great advice:-
“Show people as much love as you can. Greet everyone, even the very lowly. If you gather with others in an assembly and discuss various problems, during which someone expresses an idea to which you are opposed, do not oppose them. If they ask you, give your opinion, speak what is in your heart, and say that there are such and such opinions on this subject and the proof is as follows. Thus, they will listen to you and understand the degree of your knowledge. Treat them gently and be tolerant. Show no boredom or weariness to anyone.

Comfort yourself as like one of them. Trust no one's friendship until it has been proven. Do not be friends with anyone low or vulgar. Be virtuous, generous, and deep of heart. Your clothes should be clean and new. Have a good horse to ride. Use pleasant scents. Be generous when you give people food to eat and satisfy everyone. Whenever you hear of any strife or corruption, hasten to resolve it. Visit those who visit you and those who do not. Always do good, whether others wish you good or ill. Forgive and turn a blind eye to some things. Abandon those things that distress you and try to do what is right. Visit those of your companions who fall ill, and ask after those you do not see. Take an interest in those who do not come to you." (From Abu Hanifah's bequest to his student Abu Yusuf).


One Last Shard of Wisdom…
“Never assume that anyone in this world can really understand your circumstances other than from the perspective of his own circumstances. This is because in reality people see things in accordance with their frames of references and their personal paths. However, when aims, purpose, and aspirations are similar, people tend to work together toward a common goal.” (Sidi Ahmad al-Zaruq)

Ramadhan di Bumi Toronto

Sebentar tadi aku melayari blog Abu Maryam dan aku terhibur dengan kisah-kisah pengalaman beliau menyambut bulan Ramadhan di bumi Ottawa. Jadi aku terasa ingin menukilkan pengalaman menyambut Ramadhan di bumi Toronto ini pula. Izin aku menyelit cerita-cerita sampingan dalam hidupku sekali.

Setakat ini, semester ini jauh lebih baik bagiku berbanding dengan tahun lepas. Aku menyewa sebuah apartment di 168 Simcoe Street, downtown Toronto (dekat dengan universiti) bersama dua orang rakan lain. Housemates aku sorang Indian Muslim, nama beliau Ali Akbar, dan sorang lagi Pakistani, nama beliau Uzayr. Mereka ini boleh dikatakan sama wavelength dengan aku, jadi kami boleh get along with each other dengan mudah. Aku mengenali Ali pada Ramadhan tahun lepas, apabila beliau menegur aku selepas kami selesai solat tarawikh di Masjid Toronto. Ali peramah orangnya, sebab itu la dia yang tegur aku pada masa itu, walaupun aku hanya a stranger to him. Aku pula agak pendiam la, boleh la kot bercakap bila perlu, tetapi ada sesetengah masa tak reti berhenti bercakap pula. Ali budak architecture a.k.a. artsies, aku dan Uzayr pula budak engineering, jadi mengikut tradisi universiti, budak artsies dan budak engineering sepatutnya tak sebulu. Kami ‘bergaduh’ juga la tentang itu sekali-sekala (bergurau saja la), tetapi akhirnya aku dan uzayr terpaksa akur dengan status Ali sebagai ‘bos’ rumah. Ini kerana beliau lah yang uruskan segala perihal renting dan lain-lain lagi. Ali sangat sistematik dan organized orangnya (which is so opposite of me), jadi aku kena la ‘merajinkan’ diri mengemas rumah dan barang-barang aku mengikut standard piawaian Ali. Ali mempunyai budi pekerti yang sangat menyenangkan dan beliau sangat mengambil berat tentang urusan agama, jadi aku bersyukur mempunyai housemate seperti beliau (Uzayr pon sama).

Kami ke Masjid Toronto (hanya 10 minutes walk sahaja dari apartment kami) untuk berbuka puasa (iftar) hampir tiap-tiap hari. Biasanya aku akan berjumpa dengan Zul, Mus, dan Safwan (‘junior’ aku) sekali di sana. Hightlight semasa iftar di Masjid Toronto biasanya ialah siri-siri kuliah (sembang kedai kopi saja la) tentang History of The Gulf. Ini kerana kami biasanya duduk bersama tambahan 4 orang teman setia, masing-masing daripada Iraq, Iran, Lebanon, dan Egypt semasa berbuka puasa. Iraq dan Iran sudah tentu la tidak sebulu kerana masalah-masalah politik antara kedua-kedua negara, jadi Mehdi (Iranian) dan Abdul Rahman (Iraqi) ada sahaja la topik yang akan mereka ‘perdebatkan’: Tentang Ahmadinejad, masalah Syi’ah dan Sunni, perang gulf 4+2, Saddam, dan banyak lagi. Abdul Kareem dari Lebanon pula jadi moderator, seperti mana negara Lebanon menjadi moderator bila Iran dan Iraq tengah panas hendak berperang. Kadang-kadang boleh jadi serious juga, tetapi biasanya mereka berseloroh sahaja kerana masing-masing kawan baik sebenarnya. Jikalau aku ada kelas di universiti sehingga pukul 6 atau 7 petang pula, biasanya aku akan berbuka puasa di iftar campus yang dianjurkan oleh Muslim Student Association (MSA).

Di Masjid Toronto mereka solat tarawikh 20 raka’at dan Imam membaca 1 juzu’ satu malam. Ada 2 imam regular yang bergilir selepas 10 raka’at pertama. Kadang-kala selepas 4 raka’at akan ada satu ceramah ringkas yang diberi oleh penceramah jemputan, dan kadang-kala akan ada fund raising session untuk membesarkan sebuah Islamic School di Toronto. Pada sepuluh malam terakhir pula, ada qiamulail dari pukul 12.30 hingga 1.30 pagi. Kira banyak la juga waktu bersolat tu kan, tetapi Ali masih tak berpuas hati (huhu..). Beliau pergi ke sebuah lagi masjid yang bernama Masjid Salahuddin untuk qiamulail. Di sana katanya imam membaca 3 juzu’ satu malam untuk qiamulail pada sepuluh malam terakhir bagi menghabiskan al-Qur’an dalam 10 malam tersebut. Masjid tersebut agak jauh dari apartment kami, jadi kena naik subway untuk ke sana. Ali ada mengajak aku tetapi belum kesampaian lagi untuk aku ke sana, kerana aku selalu sebok sahaja dengan pelbagai assignments (Artsies macam Ali memang la banyak free).

Terdapat sebuah lagi masjid di Toronto yang membaca 3 juzu’ satu malam, iaitu Masjid Umar al-Khattab. Seniorku Shameel yang menuntut di UofT Missisauga gemar ke sana kerana housemate beliau, Zack a.k.a. Zakariya (orang Somali) adalah salah seorang Imam di masjid tersebut. Selepas meeting MASAT, Shameel mengajaku ke sana dan aku terima ajakannya (esok pula weekend, Alhamdulillah ada masa lapang). Lebih kurang 80-90 orang jema’ah yang hadir di masjid tersebut . Tetapi Ali kata di Masjid Salahuddin biasanya ada lagi ramai, lebih kurang 300 orang begitu. Pada malam tersebut, 3 juzu’ dihabiskan dalam 8 raka’at, jadi satu solat berlangsung lebih kurang 30-45 minit. Lenguh juga untuk berdiri begitu lama. Imam pula bertukar-tukar bagi setiap solat, jadi ada at least empat hafiz di masjid itu. Semuanya orang Somali, bacaan mereka sedap-sedap belaka.

Selepas 4 raka’at terdapat break selama 15 minit. Imam memberi tazkirah ringkas. Beliau berpesan bahawa bagi solat sunat, dibolehkan untuk solat duduk. Jadi jikalau tidak larat, beliau kata, silalah solat secara duduk dan tiada apa untuk berasa malu dengan berbuat demikian. Beliau berpesan lagi, kita perlu ‘enjoy’ our solat. Kalau kita rasa ‘merana’ sahaja sepanjang solat, nanti kita tak look forward to our next solat. Beliau mengingatkan tentang orang munafik yang datang solat di masjid, tetapi dalam hati mereka sebenarnya mereka membenci solat – kita tidak mahu menjadi sperti itu. Beliau juga mengisahkan tentang peristiwa rasulullah s.a.w. (diriwayatkan oleh ‘Aisyah) yang mana rasulullah s.a.w. bangun malam dan meminta izin 'Aisyah untuk meninggalkan beliau bagi solat. Lalu rasulullah s.a.w. pergi solat dan beliau menangis sampai basah lantai. Kemudian Bilal datang untuk azan fajr, dan beliau nampak rasulullah s.a.w. dengan keadaan demikian lalu bertanya, "You too, o Prophet of Allah? Why do you cry when Allah has forgiven all your past and future sins?" Rasulullah s.a.w. pon bersabda, "Shouldn't I be a grateful slave?"[1] Kalau rasulullah s.a.w. pon sampai sebegitu, apatah lagi kita ni yang berlumuran dengan dosa.

Setelah solat witr, hidangan sahur pula disediakan masjid untuk para jema’ah – briyani daging lagi tu, tidak ku sangka sungguh. Setelah selesai solat fajr, Zack dan Syameel menghatar aku pulang ke apartment aku dengan menaiki kereta Zack. Semasa perjalanan pulang kelihatan manusia-manusia yang mendirikan malam dengan berdisko dan mabuk. Syameel yang menetap di Missisauga (suburb of Toronto, kawasan tenteram sikit) memberi komen, “Downtown is full of weird people doing weird stuff.”

I can’t agree more.

Salam dari bumi Toronto.

Footnote:-

[1] When Ata' and Ubaydullah ibn Umayr once asked Aisha about the nature of Prophet Muhammad's behavior with her: "Aisha started to weep and said, 'One night he stood up [intending to offer the night prayer] and said, 'O Aisha, let me be alone so that I may worship my Lord.' He stood up, purified himself and continued to pray and weep until the ground became wet. Bilal came and made the adhan. When he saw the Prophet crying, he said, 'O Messenger of Allah [why do] you cry, when Allah has forgiven your past and future sins?' Prophet Mohammed replied, '[Then, for that] should I not be a thankful slave?'" [Ibn Hibban]

A Sound Heart?

Imam Ghazali says there is an outward and inward fasting (pretty obvious). The outward is of course to abstain from drinking, eating, and sexual intimacy, while the inward is making sure that our fast is accepted by Allah. The prophet s.a.w. said “Many are those who fast attaining nothing but hunger and many are those performing solah by night attaining nothing but tiredness” [Ibn Majah, Nasaa’i]. Outwardly they seems fine, but inwardly they ‘break’ their fast with such things as backbiting, lustful glances, lies and other violations of inward fast.

Ibn Qayyim said that the body of the human being is like a country, whose capital is the heart and whose frontiers are the seven limbs. Satan reaches the heart through one or more of these appendages. Fasting guards the boundaries and trains its sentinels so the heart has a greater chance of drawing near to God[1]. In a hadith (sahih Bukhari), the Prophet s.a.w. said that fasting is a shield, and someone who is fasting should not indulge in obscene language, nor raise the voice, and if someone tries to quarrel with him, he should say “I am a person fasting” [2].

Imam al-Ghazali said, “How many people are not fasting, but with God they are fasting? And how many people are fasting, but with God they are not fasting?”[3]. Questions that we should ask ourselves are: Will we still be 'fasting' even after Ramadhan? Are we even 'fasting' in this month of Ramadhan?

The day of judgement is described as “a day which neither wealth nor children shall be of any benefit, except one who comes to God with a sound heart” [Qur’an 26:88-89]

So have we tried our best to purify our heart during this blessed month? Do we long to attain a sound heart? Or we just don't care, do we?

Footnotes:-
[1] Purification of the Heart, page 191, Hamza Yusuf, Starlatch Press 2004
[2] Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 31, Number 128: Volume 3, Book 31, Number 128:
[3] Purification of the Heart, page 192, Hamza Yusuf, Starlatch Press 2004

p/s: sorry for keeping this blog dormant for a long time.