Home

I guess when you come back for only two and a half weeks, time feels a lot more precious than if you're back for four months - certainly I felt that way. This time around, there is just no time to waste at all, because every second seems so precious.

The mission was simple: I want to remember, I want to be remembered, and I need to sort out a few important things. All thanks to my family for taking time off and spending precious time with me; I will remember them - especially for the next two years - insyaAllah. All I can say, I can only be at my happiest best when I'm around them.

By the way, wanna know what made me decided to come home? I watched this movie and it made me ask this question: "If I'm gone, who will really miss me?" I didn't have to ponder about it, it was just reflex: Mom. So, I decided I had to go back no matter what.

Sometimes, it's okay to do things for anonymous, but it means a lot more if you do them for people you really love. It’s only human to want to feel appreciated, but of course, whatever we do, the reason has to be only for Him, and we expect nothing in return. So I want my siblings to remember that they have me, even though I’m usually not at home nowadays.

Plus, I think I have changed quite a lot through time; me three years back is not the same as me now; in fact, me a year back is a lot different too (probably). I need them to update their memory and vice versa, so that we are in synch again. By the way, the only thing that people keep telling me when they meet me is “you look kurus” and they start to postulate weird things about Canadian food or UofT upper year. Apakah? Haha..

Anyway, let’s sidetrack, when I came home I bought my little brother a video game, mainly because that’s the only thing I can picture him enjoying it. But of course, I don’t want him to be a game junkie, it’s such a waste of valuable time. I used to be hooked up on video games too, so I know how it feels like. The more important point is: I know that it is very possible that at one point in your life you just lose interest in it, so nothing to be panicking about. Plus, he knows his priorities, he does okay in school.

The upside of this scheme was that he had to listen to my ‘lectures’ as he couldn’t run away from me – terhutang budi. So when I saw him playing game, I went, “Abang tengok Adi ni asset main game je. Rasa-rasanya la kan, apa tujuan hidup ni?” Of course my ‘lectures’ were usually longer, but now he gets good at it already: “Ye la , ye la, Adi sembahyang jugak, Adi study jugak, Adi baca buku jugak, bila Adi boring je Adi main game.” And I just smile at him, but that’s how I get a channel to deliver what I want to say to him.

I was surprised that one day, while I was on my bed immersing myself with a book, he came to me and told me about story books that he read – see my lectures were effective :) So before I left, I brought him to the bookstore, and bought him a book. But of course nothing beats games at the moment, small steps.

There was a friend that I didn’t want to meet, but I had to meet him in the end – I just could not stand not meeting him at all. I didn’t want to miss him, so I would rather not prolong my acquaintance. Before I left, I went to the stable and the rest were details. He was doing good, but a bit naughty off late. Missing me maybe? Perasan... But I’m getting really rusty at riding. Ah well, nothing much can be done about that at the moment.

In conclusion, I enjoyed this short stay very much, I guess mainly because it felt so precious. Now I have to concentrate on upcoming tasks at hand: My work, my finance, my idealism, etc. Will be missing home soon...

Note: I know you guys stalk my blog sometimes. Buat-buat tak baca ye kalau terbaca, macam biasa. And stop accusing me of writing too intellectual :)