a Young Man at Kufa

Ada cerita macam best nak aku kongsi dengan kalian. Sebelum bermula, aku nak kata bahawa aku tahu cerita ini banyak juga ‘kemengarutan’ dan harap pembaca menyedarinya juga. Tetapi rasanya ada juga mesej yang berguna di sebaliknya yang boleh kita renung-renungkan.

Ahmad ibn Sa’id al-‘Abid related that his father had told him the following: ‘There was once with us at Kufa a young man much given to devotional practices, who used to stay in the Friday mosque and hardly ever leave it. Since he had a fine face and bearing, and a pleasant manner, he was noticed by a beautiful and intelligent woman, who fell deeply in love with him. After having passed a long while in this condition, she stood in the road one day when he was going to the mosque. “Young man!” she said. “Hear a few words which I would say to you, and then do whatever you will.” He walked on without speaking to her. Then she stood in the road when he was returning home, and said, “Young man! Hear a few words which I would say to you!’ He lowered his head for some time, and told her, “This is a situation which invites suspicion, and I do not like to be suspected.” “By God,” she told him. “I am not standing here because of my ignorance of your disposition; God forbid that people should see me do this thing, yet I have been impelled to meet you myself; only a little of such things is considered by people to be too much, and you constant worshippers are like glass bottles which are damaged by the slightest thing. In sum, what I would say is that all my limbs are intent upon you: God, God help me with you!” The young man went home. He wanted to pray, but he could not concentrate, so he took out a piece of paper instead and wrote a message. He then went outdoors, where the young woman was standing in the same place: he threw the message towards her, and went back in. The message ran: “In the name of God, Most Compassionate and Merciful. You should know, O woman, that when one of God’s servants sins against Him, He deals with him lineantly. Should he sin again, He conceals this for him. But should he don its garments, then God conceives against him such wrath as the very heavens and the earth could not compass, neither the mountains, the trees and the animals (Qur’an. XXII:18): what man could then withstand such wrath? If what you said was spoken in deceit, then I would remind you of a Day when the sky will become as molten copper, and the mountains as carded wool, (Qur’an LXX:8,9) when all nations shall crouch down before the onslaught of the Almighty. I am too weak to reform myself; how, then, may I reform others? However, if what you say was spoken truly, I would direct you to a physician of guidance, who cures festering wounds and burning pains; to wit, God, Who is Lord of the Worlds. So address yourself to Him with sincere entreaties, for I am distracted from you by His words (Exalted is He!): And warn them of the Day of Destruction, when hearts shall choke throats, when there will be no friends for the evildoers, neither any intercessor who will be heard. He knows the traitor of the eye and that which hearts conceal. God judges with verity! (Qur’an XL:18-20)How may one escape from this verse?”

‘A few days later, she came and stood in front of him again in the street. When he saw her from afar he wanted to return to his house as not to see her. But she said, “Young man! Do not go back, for we shall never meet after today save in the presence of God (Exalted is He!)” She broke into bitter tears, and said, “I ask God, in Whose hand lie the keys of your heart, to ease all your hardships.” She then followed him, saying, “Grant me the kindness of an admonition, which I may take from you, and give me counsel by which I may act.” “I counsel you,” he said, “to protect your soul from your soul,” and would remind you of His statement (Exalted is He!): He it is who slays you at night, and knows what you commit by day. (Qur’anVI:160) At this, she lowered her head, and cried even more bitterly. When she recovered, she went home, and remained there, and occupied herself with continual worship until at last she died of grief. After her death, the young man would weep when he recalled her. “Why you weep?” he was asked, “when you kept her away from you?” And he would reply, “I killed her hope for me at the outset, and through that rejection stored up a treasure with God (Exalted is He!). And then I was ashamed to take back a treasure of this kind.”

* Kasr al-shahwatayn (Breaking the Two Desires), al-Ghazali.

Some notes about the ending:-
The intended meaning is that he had felt an unlawful desire for fer, and gained such grace in wrestling with it that he too fell in love with her, he denied himself a legitimate marriage so as not to vitiate his original virtue.