Wisdom 1: Dissension, Reconciliation, and Ego.
Treat differences among your fellow kin with kindness and nothing but kindness. Mu’awiyah once said, “if there was a hair of relationship between me and someone else, if he pulled on it I would release, and if he released it, I would pull.” Often, your ego will be the main obstacle in exercising kindness in dealing with dissensions. So be wary of your own ego before you worry about other people’s actions and hidden motives. Remember: “Let not some men among you deride others who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is a bad name after faith.” [Sûrah al-Hujurât: 11].
Take heed of Imam Ash-Syafi’e’s fine advice on brotherhood:-
"The following three conditions are signs of the genuine nature of one's love for his brother in religion: To tolerate a few small errors without reproaching the other party, and accept that person for what he is; to cover up any unbecoming actions performed openly;to forgive any wrong directed towards oneself."
Syaikh Hamza Yusuf once spoke on Islam Channel: "There’s a verse in the Qur’an that is very interesting to me, and probably to most of you, ‘If people incline towards reconciliation, incline with them and trust in God. When they want to incline towards peace, you incline towards peace; and if they want to deceive you, if there’s some hidden ulterior motive, God is enough for you.’ Don’t worry about that, that’s not your concern. Peace is so precious, that anybody who reaches out for peace, you should reach out with them for peace” (I believe he was talking about Surah Al-Anfal: 8).
Wisdom 2: The Inner Lawyer.
Find the inner lawyer in you – now this is very important. Think for a second: to be a good lawyer, it often helps to be a good liar. Although most lawyers won’t tell a direct lie, most will do what they can to hide the inconvenient truths, while offering a plausible alternative version of ‘what really happened’ to the jury – a story that they know is not true. Know that your inner lawyer works the same way, but the biggest and most important difference is you actually believe the story he makes up! So catch him when he is in action.
People who are asked to read a study showing that drinking coffee is unhealthy would think extra hard to find flaws in the study – flaws that people who don’t drink coffee won’t notice. When someone reprimanded you for not going to the mosque for Solat Juma’ah, in an instance your brain will be busy cogitating about a valid justification for your misconduct: “The mosque was too far away. Hmm, not really. Oh yeah, my class ended extra late today. Then I was so, so, so hungry, I needed to eat first, and by the time I finished the food, I was already too late for the prayer. Anyway, I won’t be able to concentrate on the khutbah if I went there with an empty stomach just now.”
Over and over again, studies have shown that people set out on a cognitive mission to bring back reasons to support their preferred action. And because we are usually successful in this mission, we end up with the illusion of objectivity. The only answer that I can think of to overcome this problem is to have true moral sincerity, which is not something easy to attain, as we always tend to keep up appearances when it comes to morality: "If one of you wishes to content all the people, he cannot. The servant must be careful to have moral sincerity. Every good work he performs must remain between him and Allah." (Imam Ash-Syafi’e) How hard is that…
Wisdom 3: Khushoo’ in Solat.
Have khushoo’ in your solat. To me the degree of khushoo’ that you can attain in your solat is a strong indicator as to your current spiritual state. If you cannot attain humility towards Allah during those five minutes, then what chance for you to have humility towards Him for the rest of the day? If you often fail to attain khushoo’ then reflect hard on your current condition. Ask yourself: “To what extend do I love this dunya and to what extend do I neglect my duties towards Allah presently?”
At the same time, be wary of the khushoo’ of hypocrisy. Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya said, explaining the difference between the khushoo’ of true faith and the khushoo’ of the hypocrisy: “The khushoo’ of true faith is when the heart feels aware and humble before the greatness and glory of Allah, and is filled with awe, fear, and shyness, so that the heart is utterly humbled before Allah and broken, as it were, with fear, shyness, love and the recognition of the blessings of Allah and its own sins. So, no doubt, the khushoo’ of the heart is followed by the khushoo’ of the body.As for the khushoo’ of hypocrisy, it is something that is put on with a great show, but there is no khushoo’ in the heart.”
Ponder upon how the sahabah and the salaf were when they pray: ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib r.a. would be visibly shaken, and the color of his face would change when he was about to pray. It was said to him, “What is the matter with you?” He said, “By Allah, there has come the time of the Trust: “Indeed, We offered the Amanah [Trust] to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, but they declined to bear it and were afraid of it; but man bore it…” (Qur’an 33:72). Syaikh al-Islam Ibn Taimiyah, when he started to pray, used to tremble so much that he would lean right and left. Just compare this with what we do in our prayers nowadays: Thinking about the unsolved math problems in calculus, planning what to do next, fiddling with our nose, checking the watch, etc.
Wisdom 4: Conduct in a Debate, Discussion, or Assembly
Remember Imam Ash-Syafi’e’s words when you are in a heated debate: “Never do I argue with a man with a desire to hear him say what is wrong, or to expose him and win victory over him. Whenever I face an opponent in debate I silently pray - "O Allah, help him so that truth may flow from his heart and on his tongue, and so that if truth is on my side, he may follow me; and if truth be on his side, I may follow him." More importantly – if one is sincere in conveying the truth – choose wisely when to debate in public and when to give personal advice. These two modes will give a dramatically different impact on the one you seek to counsel, as Imam Ash-Syafi’e eloquently puts, "if anyone gives secret advice to his brother in faith, he will have engaged in good counseling and adorned him with good manners. If he seeks to give advice openly in public it will have no effect. He will, in a sense, have condemned the other party, and thus shamed him."
Listen carefully to Imam Abu Hanifah’s great advice:-
“Show people as much love as you can. Greet everyone, even the very lowly. If you gather with others in an assembly and discuss various problems, during which someone expresses an idea to which you are opposed, do not oppose them. If they ask you, give your opinion, speak what is in your heart, and say that there are such and such opinions on this subject and the proof is as follows. Thus, they will listen to you and understand the degree of your knowledge. Treat them gently and be tolerant. Show no boredom or weariness to anyone.
Comfort yourself as like one of them. Trust no one's friendship until it has been proven. Do not be friends with anyone low or vulgar. Be virtuous, generous, and deep of heart. Your clothes should be clean and new. Have a good horse to ride. Use pleasant scents. Be generous when you give people food to eat and satisfy everyone. Whenever you hear of any strife or corruption, hasten to resolve it. Visit those who visit you and those who do not. Always do good, whether others wish you good or ill. Forgive and turn a blind eye to some things. Abandon those things that distress you and try to do what is right. Visit those of your companions who fall ill, and ask after those you do not see. Take an interest in those who do not come to you." (From Abu Hanifah's bequest to his student Abu Yusuf).
One Last Shard of Wisdom…
“Never assume that anyone in this world can really understand your circumstances other than from the perspective of his own circumstances. This is because in reality people see things in accordance with their frames of references and their personal paths. However, when aims, purpose, and aspirations are similar, people tend to work together toward a common goal.” (Sidi Ahmad al-Zaruq)
Treat differences among your fellow kin with kindness and nothing but kindness. Mu’awiyah once said, “if there was a hair of relationship between me and someone else, if he pulled on it I would release, and if he released it, I would pull.” Often, your ego will be the main obstacle in exercising kindness in dealing with dissensions. So be wary of your own ego before you worry about other people’s actions and hidden motives. Remember: “Let not some men among you deride others who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is a bad name after faith.” [Sûrah al-Hujurât: 11].
Take heed of Imam Ash-Syafi’e’s fine advice on brotherhood:-
"The following three conditions are signs of the genuine nature of one's love for his brother in religion: To tolerate a few small errors without reproaching the other party, and accept that person for what he is; to cover up any unbecoming actions performed openly;to forgive any wrong directed towards oneself."
Syaikh Hamza Yusuf once spoke on Islam Channel: "There’s a verse in the Qur’an that is very interesting to me, and probably to most of you, ‘If people incline towards reconciliation, incline with them and trust in God. When they want to incline towards peace, you incline towards peace; and if they want to deceive you, if there’s some hidden ulterior motive, God is enough for you.’ Don’t worry about that, that’s not your concern. Peace is so precious, that anybody who reaches out for peace, you should reach out with them for peace” (I believe he was talking about Surah Al-Anfal: 8).
Wisdom 2: The Inner Lawyer.
Find the inner lawyer in you – now this is very important. Think for a second: to be a good lawyer, it often helps to be a good liar. Although most lawyers won’t tell a direct lie, most will do what they can to hide the inconvenient truths, while offering a plausible alternative version of ‘what really happened’ to the jury – a story that they know is not true. Know that your inner lawyer works the same way, but the biggest and most important difference is you actually believe the story he makes up! So catch him when he is in action.
People who are asked to read a study showing that drinking coffee is unhealthy would think extra hard to find flaws in the study – flaws that people who don’t drink coffee won’t notice. When someone reprimanded you for not going to the mosque for Solat Juma’ah, in an instance your brain will be busy cogitating about a valid justification for your misconduct: “The mosque was too far away. Hmm, not really. Oh yeah, my class ended extra late today. Then I was so, so, so hungry, I needed to eat first, and by the time I finished the food, I was already too late for the prayer. Anyway, I won’t be able to concentrate on the khutbah if I went there with an empty stomach just now.”
Over and over again, studies have shown that people set out on a cognitive mission to bring back reasons to support their preferred action. And because we are usually successful in this mission, we end up with the illusion of objectivity. The only answer that I can think of to overcome this problem is to have true moral sincerity, which is not something easy to attain, as we always tend to keep up appearances when it comes to morality: "If one of you wishes to content all the people, he cannot. The servant must be careful to have moral sincerity. Every good work he performs must remain between him and Allah." (Imam Ash-Syafi’e) How hard is that…
Wisdom 3: Khushoo’ in Solat.
Have khushoo’ in your solat. To me the degree of khushoo’ that you can attain in your solat is a strong indicator as to your current spiritual state. If you cannot attain humility towards Allah during those five minutes, then what chance for you to have humility towards Him for the rest of the day? If you often fail to attain khushoo’ then reflect hard on your current condition. Ask yourself: “To what extend do I love this dunya and to what extend do I neglect my duties towards Allah presently?”
At the same time, be wary of the khushoo’ of hypocrisy. Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya said, explaining the difference between the khushoo’ of true faith and the khushoo’ of the hypocrisy: “The khushoo’ of true faith is when the heart feels aware and humble before the greatness and glory of Allah, and is filled with awe, fear, and shyness, so that the heart is utterly humbled before Allah and broken, as it were, with fear, shyness, love and the recognition of the blessings of Allah and its own sins. So, no doubt, the khushoo’ of the heart is followed by the khushoo’ of the body.As for the khushoo’ of hypocrisy, it is something that is put on with a great show, but there is no khushoo’ in the heart.”
Ponder upon how the sahabah and the salaf were when they pray: ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib r.a. would be visibly shaken, and the color of his face would change when he was about to pray. It was said to him, “What is the matter with you?” He said, “By Allah, there has come the time of the Trust: “Indeed, We offered the Amanah [Trust] to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, but they declined to bear it and were afraid of it; but man bore it…” (Qur’an 33:72). Syaikh al-Islam Ibn Taimiyah, when he started to pray, used to tremble so much that he would lean right and left. Just compare this with what we do in our prayers nowadays: Thinking about the unsolved math problems in calculus, planning what to do next, fiddling with our nose, checking the watch, etc.
Wisdom 4: Conduct in a Debate, Discussion, or Assembly
Remember Imam Ash-Syafi’e’s words when you are in a heated debate: “Never do I argue with a man with a desire to hear him say what is wrong, or to expose him and win victory over him. Whenever I face an opponent in debate I silently pray - "O Allah, help him so that truth may flow from his heart and on his tongue, and so that if truth is on my side, he may follow me; and if truth be on his side, I may follow him." More importantly – if one is sincere in conveying the truth – choose wisely when to debate in public and when to give personal advice. These two modes will give a dramatically different impact on the one you seek to counsel, as Imam Ash-Syafi’e eloquently puts, "if anyone gives secret advice to his brother in faith, he will have engaged in good counseling and adorned him with good manners. If he seeks to give advice openly in public it will have no effect. He will, in a sense, have condemned the other party, and thus shamed him."
Listen carefully to Imam Abu Hanifah’s great advice:-
“Show people as much love as you can. Greet everyone, even the very lowly. If you gather with others in an assembly and discuss various problems, during which someone expresses an idea to which you are opposed, do not oppose them. If they ask you, give your opinion, speak what is in your heart, and say that there are such and such opinions on this subject and the proof is as follows. Thus, they will listen to you and understand the degree of your knowledge. Treat them gently and be tolerant. Show no boredom or weariness to anyone.
Comfort yourself as like one of them. Trust no one's friendship until it has been proven. Do not be friends with anyone low or vulgar. Be virtuous, generous, and deep of heart. Your clothes should be clean and new. Have a good horse to ride. Use pleasant scents. Be generous when you give people food to eat and satisfy everyone. Whenever you hear of any strife or corruption, hasten to resolve it. Visit those who visit you and those who do not. Always do good, whether others wish you good or ill. Forgive and turn a blind eye to some things. Abandon those things that distress you and try to do what is right. Visit those of your companions who fall ill, and ask after those you do not see. Take an interest in those who do not come to you." (From Abu Hanifah's bequest to his student Abu Yusuf).
One Last Shard of Wisdom…
“Never assume that anyone in this world can really understand your circumstances other than from the perspective of his own circumstances. This is because in reality people see things in accordance with their frames of references and their personal paths. However, when aims, purpose, and aspirations are similar, people tend to work together toward a common goal.” (Sidi Ahmad al-Zaruq)
